Sympathy For Adam

So there's this thing that I don't really tell people often, if at all. Maybe it's so I don't sound pathetic or whatever. But here it is: I very much despise being single. Woah, there it is. I've hidden that away in my heart and disguised it with the perfect "content with being single" mask that could fool anyone, including myself. 

It's not like I've tried my hardest to not stay single (I have been through many, many years of riding solo) or decided that I'm going to fully embrace the nun-life. I've just been living life like Christ has called me and accepted that little repetitive voice in the back of my head that tells me that being single sucks.

To reassure myself that I'm truly not crazy, I flipped to Genesis 2:18. "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for  man to be alone.'" Praise the Lord that this is the way I'm wired. God states it plainly; apart from Himself always being with us, it's not good for us to be alone. We were made to long for someone to love us like Christ has loved His bride.

Reading more into this passage made me put myself in Adam's shoes (well, I guess feet for that matter, seeing as clothing wasn't really a option). Between the time of God creating Adam and then Eve, Adam must have been lonely. Yes, God was with Adam and walked with him. Yes, God gave Adam the whole garden to take care of. But I bet there was still a part of Adam that would have loved help with the garden--and life in general.

Wrestling with God lately about this whole passage has brought some truth to me. I am Adam in this stage of my life. I need to walk with God in the garden--just me and Him. I also need to tend to the "garden" communities that He has blessed me with. These are my priorities. And just as God brought Eve to Adam, He will bring me my partner. But in His time, not mine. We never read about Adam whining to God that He hasn't made Eve yet. Ouch, there's some hard truth. Adam just works on the priorities that God has given him at that point in his life--no complaints.

And then there's the one thing that has come from much prayer and that the little voice doesn't want to hear: I feel God is calling me to be single right now. 

Wait, did you just say that?

Yes. yes, I did. And whether that means for 4 months or 4 years, it doesn't matter. I can't wait to see how God is going to use me in my singleness. And from all the truth that God has been revealing to me lately, there's one that He has branded on my heart: God is sovereign and so is His timing.