Dear Freshman-self.

Dear Freshman-self,

You are going to see soon that moving 7 hours away from home and packing everything you own into a small college dorm room is just the easy part of this new transition.
You'll find out soon that the multiple devotionals and sermons you studied leading up to this change will not help at all. You are probably wondering what I mean and, if anything, wondering if what I'm about to say is true.

I wish it wasn't true, but I have to say yes. Yes, it is all true. All the hurt, worry, stress, anxiety. It gets to a point where you feel like you have no worth and no desire. But hold on, please. Just hold on.

You'll start off before the semester with someone catching your eye. They've always been there, but you've never really seen them. Here is your first warning: hold onto your heart. Please don't be so quick to give it away because it will be smashed and left in a million pieces. You think this will finally be the time that God sends someone special to you, to enjoy the many great and fun things of college with. Keep Proverbs 4:23 (which will soon become your anthem), "Guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life", written in your mind. The next month will be hard, but please let this be an opportunity to run, and run fast, to the Lord. I failed to do that and my heart became hard and bitter. But you'll make it past this and God will take your heartbreaker out of your life so you are not constantly reminded of the hurt.

The next couple months will fly by. You'll start classes and meet amazing people who will greatly impact your life. Hold on tight to these bonds, because you will soon need them. As so, because you are a woman, there will be yet another heart break. You won't even see this one coming, but when it does, you'll quickly fall hard. Please be careful with your time. Instead of using your extra time trying to spend time with your new crush, please use that time with the Maker of the universe. I assure you, He is way better than your current muse. I'll tell you this again, and I really hope you believe me this time, please hold onto your heart. But as much as I tell you this, you will still let it go easily. It breaks my heart (well, our heart) to see you walk into this so blindly. Try your best to make the Lord be your sight. He will never let you stumble.

The last, and most important, advice you need to hear is buckle up for the next 2 years and hold on tight. It will be a whirlwind of highs and lows, joyful times and heartbreaking ones. It will be some of the best and hardest years you've ever had. The Lord will be breaking you in so many ways, just to mold you back together and more beautiful than ever. I look back at you and see how different we are. But don't fret, this is a good thing. Your heart is constantly being transformed. The Lord is preparing you for so much, including leadership, so don't push away. You'll make new bonds and tremendously strenghten the ones you've made. Remember, don't easily let these friends go because they won't easily let you go. You're going to need many shoulders to cry on. And in turn, you will be a shoulder to cry on for many. Embrace the heartbroken ones; don't let the tears easily push you away from them. Please, please don't feel like you ever have to say the right things or give perfect advice. God will provide you the right words to say. All they need is your love and comforting hugs.

Get ready for the most growth-filled years of your life. Draw close to the Lord, and He will draw close to you.


With love,

Your future-self.